Welcome to this week’s Motherhood Chats Unfiltered blog post! As a Wisconsin native myself, I was super excited for the chance to interview two Wisconsin moms who created the HERself Podcast. They empower and uplift women through their podcast and community, and the values of MammaEase align completely with their mission. Let's dive in with Amy and Abby!
Tell us a little bit about yourself. What inspired you to start your podcast?
We are two Wisconsin moms who love listening to podcasts. It's the perfect way to have a busy lifestyle myself, with listening while out for a walk, doing housework, or commuting. However, there was something missing in the podcast world - real, honest answers from everyday people and experts. A place to have conversations about the biggest struggles but also a place to celebrate the wins. We knew we could create a community that could do all of this while meeting our listeners exactly where they were!
Tell us about your own motherhood journey. What is one thing you wish you knew before becoming a mom?
We both have 3 young children. In the early years with one child, life revolved around them. Friendships were put on the backburner, time for us wasn't a top priority, we had a "I can do it all" mentality, and we'd run back home any chance we could. It wasn't until each of our second kids came around that we realized this pace of life was unmanageable! Also, allowing support from others and taking time away was good for everyone.
What advice do you have for moms who are experiencing 'mom guilt'?
Mom guilt can feel debilitating, but knowing who you are outside of the "mother" title will help you hold on to yourself while raising a child. Ask yourself - “would you want your child to sacrifice everything life is offering to spend an extra few hours with their children every day? Would you want your child to forget about their marriage/partnership because it feels like one more demand? Would you want your child to miss out on understanding themselves on a cellular level because they were too focused on raising their own kids?”
Chances are, the answer is no. Our kids learn from us. Set the example, be the change, and look internally on what YOU need and not what society is telling you to do. Kids feel love in quality, not quantity, so a focused, energized mama who's "on” for 20 minutes is far better than a burned out, resentful mom who's just there for hours and hours.
What societal or cultural messages about motherhood frustrate you and how would you like to see them changed?
For those in a heterosexual relationship, your male partner can do almost everything that you can do. There is no reason that women should be the leaders of the house work, scheduling, signups, childcare, etc. Give them permission to take the reins and a fair partnership inside the home will change what our future generations see as "normal".
How do you take care of yourself? What advice do you have for other moms regarding self-care?
Self-care is non-negotiable. We both build in breaks throughout the day to take space, move, drink water and re-fuel. Having a life without taking care of yourself is not a life worth living. If you don't have 30 minutes in your day to do this... perfect! Make sure it's 60 minutes then.
You can follow Abby and Amy on Instagram or listen to the HERself Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. They recently hit two million downloads and we are super excited for them! Congratulations ladies!
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]]>Hello and thank you for reading this week’s Motherhood Chats Unfiltered blog post! We love to support mom-owned companies, so this week we are excited to introduce you to Chloe, founder of Simple Heart Company. We love the mission behind her brand and we think you will too! Here is what Chloe had to say.
I am Chloe Gomez, owner of motherhood-themed brand, Simple Heart Company. I am a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist and mom of three (pregnant with fourth). My hope with this brand is to bring moms from everywhere together knowing that we are not alone in this journey. Whether your children are 25 and grown or 25 minutes old, being a mom runs through our veins. We deserve to feel cool, feel loved, and to feel a part of something - that is where Simple Heart Company comes in. We are not only a brand, but a community of moms.
What has been one of your greatest joys in motherhood?
My greatest joy in motherhood is watching my children grow. It sounds so cliche, but I don't find myself overcome with sadness when I think about my son starting kindergarten in the fall. I have such joy and pride in seeing the new, amazing things they can do and crazy things they say. These moments of seeing them grow is not only my greatest joy in motherhood, it's my greatest joy in LIFE. As a mom of three, and a fourth on the way, these moments of joy are daily.
What has been one of your greatest challenges? What did you do to overcome it?
Honestly, the loss of my grandmother has been one of my greatest challenges. She was a crucial part in my upbringing, and she was overall the matriarch of our family. She was kind to all and an amazing role model for motherhood. To overcome this loss took time, as these things do. One thing that has helped me overcome our loss of her is to teach my children about her and try to emulate the things that I loved about her for my children.
What inspired you to start your company?
After the loss of my grandmother, I had an overall change of heart about life. I was very career driven (I still am to a certain degree) as a nurse anesthetist. When I lost my grandmother, I decided to focus on starting a family as soon as possible and become the mom I always wanted to be. My dad has owned and operated a silkscreen business for over 20 years and once I became a mom I wanted cooler, trendier mom clothes than what was available at the time. He started making my prints for free, I started an Etsy shop, and it has evolved to what it is today! My joy and passion for motherhood embodied into Simple Heart Company.
What is the mission behind your company and how do you support moms?
My mission is to make moms look as cool as we know they should feel. My goal is to spread love and unity into the motherhood community. We are all exhausted and doing our best. Creating a community via instagram and cool merchandise has been a dream come true. We, as a brand, support moms by providing a "club" to feel a part of. In addition to creating a community, a portion of our profits is donated to various entities such as the Blue Dot Project - an organization to bring awareness to postpartum depression and anxiety.
What is a motherhood related topic that you wish we talked about more?
Definitely postpartum anxiety. I feel like depression is screened more regularly than anxiety, although we have come a LONG way in screening and awareness of PPD which is wonderful. I have many, many close friends that struggled with PPA, and even I wasn't able to identify it in them. I honestly have guilt that as a healthcare provider, I wasn't able to identify it in them. If I'm unable to identify it, how can husbands/partners? It is a topic I am deeply passionate about.
You can follow along with Simple Heart Co and join the community of mammas on Instagram. Her new fall line drops September 1st, so join her email list on simpleheartco.com so you don’t miss out! You can also check out her podcast, Cool Sister Podcast, wherever you listen to your podcasts.
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]]>Tell us a little bit about yourself. What services do you offer? How long have you been teaching yoga?
I specialize in yoga for pregnancy, birth preparation, and postpartum. I have been teaching prenatal yoga since 2002. I am also a Certified Pelvic Floor Yoga Teacher, a childbirth educator, HypnoBirthing practitioner, and Spinning Babies Parent Educator.
I primarily offer virtual classes for expecting people and for new parents. My focus is on helping women prepare their body and mind fully for the birth experience and transition into parenthood. When the body is balanced, and the mind is prepared, I truly believe birth is able to be smoother, easier, and sometimes even faster. I believe we are able to embrace ourselves as mothers with greater love and support.
What led you to this career path?
I am a lifelong mover and dancer, so for me finding ways to connect to the body and movement came very naturally.
I usually joke that the universe conspired to get me into this field. During my first yoga class as an instructor, I had 5 pregnant students and I didn't know what to do, so I started taking more training and became absolutely fascinated with the whole experience of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. One of the trainings I attended turned out to also be a birth doula (labor coach) training also.This opened my eyes when I had the chance to attend the birth of one of my students. The whole process of birth just suddenly made sense, and intersected so fully with a practice of yoga and meditation.
Years later, when I had my own baby, my eyes were opened even further and I went on to get trained in several techniques on how to better support the physiological birth process.
What was your favorite part or most profound experience attending births as a doula?
Of course the moment the baby is born is always amazing, but I usually say my favorite part of attending births in general is how it pulls me into the deepest meditation practice I have ever done. Being in the birthing room with a laboring person forces me to shelve the distracting thoughts and be fully in the present moment. It's that presence that then lets me see where my clients need support. Sometimes that means physical support and positioning, but usually it means reassurance and reminders of why they chose the birth they chose, and how they can still welcome their baby the way they wanted to.
Why do you feel yoga is important during the perinatal period?
Yoga helps moms get in touch with where the body is too stiff and where things need to strengthen up, and gives the tools to do whichever is needed. It also helps us learn to be mentally flexible if things need to shift slightly in order to find greater ease. Balancing the body's tissues makes the whole birth process go more smoothly, and allows for making space during labor if it is needed so things can progress.
Conveniently, the same actions which tone and balance the body for labor and birth also help alleviate things like back pain during pregnancy, and also help in restoring functional strength postpartum. Being able to feel how your body is working, and noticing how you are standing or moving on a daily basis helps immensely when we have to navigate the additional stress that pregnancy and birth puts on the body and mind.
What can partners do to support a pregnant mamma during the perinatal period?
I always encourage partners to help mom feel seen first and foremost. Some women love being pregnant, and others find it extremely challenging. One of the best things we experience during both pregnancy and new parenthood is the feeling of someone acknowledging and affirming our own experience, and then trusting us to solve it as is right for us. That may mean having a partner help out, or it may simply mean sharing your thoughts and feelings about parenting as you prepare to welcome your baby together.
If you had one piece of advice for expecting moms, what would it be?
Take some independant childbirth classes! Don't just rely on your doctor or hospital to give you all the options. They mean well, but they have their own agendas, and they don't always know all the options available. While we want to be able to trust our providers, I usually recommend trust, but verifying. Take back your own power over your birth. You are the consumer, and even if you have limited options, you still have them. You only give birth to this baby once. Go find what you need to feel seen, heard, and empowered.
What do you love most about working with expecting moms?
One of the things I love the most about working with expectant parents is the ways in which finding good movement patterns, and bringing overall muscle balance to their bodies during pregnancy has a positive impact not only on the sensations during pregnancy, but also on the birth process, and then during the postpartum recovery. The practices we can do to help alleviate back pain, and release the pelvis before birth, also help with creating more space for baby to move through the pelvis during labor, and then help the deep core muscles recover and find solid functional strength. The female body was ultimately designed to be able to get pregnant, birth, and then move again without damage or dysfunction. I feel like it's my life's worth to help as many people as I can have more happy, healthy, and holistic pregnancies, births, and transitions into motherhood.
Hello and welcome to this week’s Motherhood Unfiltered Blog post. It’s been a while since we have interviewed someone, and this week we had the pleasure of interviewing Sophie Burch. Sophie is a parent and perinatal therapist, coach, and public speaker. She is the author of the book Beyond Birth: a Mindful Guide to Early Parenting. We asked her:
Tell us about your career. What types of services do you offer? What led you down this career path?
I'm a perinatal and parental therapist, author, trainer, leader, and speaker, passionate about emotional wellbeing and mental health. Having my children and struggling with my own mental health, after birth trauma, and PPD, led me into a career wanting to bridge the gap in support services and continuity of connection for all people in pregnancy and parenting. I’m on a mission to bring simple, effective, emotional wellbeing, and mental health awareness to all people starting perinatally, for families, for life. I founded the Beyond Birth Collective and have trained nearly 200 people worldwide who are running Before and Beyond Birth parent support sessions to their parenting communities. I also offer 1:1 mentoring and therapy to parents globally as a Hypnotherapist with CBT and Mindfulness. I practice what I preach and know how important it is to do so being a mum of 4 boys (including twins).
How do you help mammas overcome their childbirth fears?
I use a unique combination of mindfulness, hypnosis, CBT, and gentle psychoeducation to help parents prepare for their baby and birth. We look deeply at the relational element to bringing a baby into our arms, and the use of relaxation and breathing techniques helps deepen the connections with self, baby, and partner to boost awareness and calmness.
What are some things mammas can do to prepare for the possibility of PPD?
Simple practices to boost self-awareness, and emotionally regulate and build emotional resilience that can lead to more confidence and understanding of when a mood disorder is present. Grounding, Breathwork, Journaling, and Mindfulness can all help when practiced daily.
What can partners do to support mom's mental health during the perinatal period?
Communication is essential, as is tender, loving care and understanding. Before baby arrives, it can help to see a couples therapist or complete a questionnaire to talk through what they both need when they are tired, vulnerable, and feeling unable to cope. Gratitude and oxytocin boosting practices are a great way to reframe the tough days and feel closer to each other.
Tell us about your own postpartum journey. What caught you by surprise?
I had NO support from family or the local community/healthcare professionals despite having birth trauma and 2 out of 4 babies in the NICU, which led to PPD and Anxiety issues. That’s why I wrote my book, my training course, parent support sessions, and continue to work hard to raise awareness of perinatal mental health issues now.
I wish someone had shown me how to hold myself, and work with my frightened inner child. All my babies had silent reflux and colic, so the crying was very hard to manage and there were times I just wanted to run away. Those moments coupled with intrusive thoughts of harming my babies or myself were horrendous. I now know that it’s far more common than we talk about and I wish someone had helped me to understand that at the time when I just felt like I was losing my mind.
If you could give one piece of advice for new mammas, what would it be?
You deserve to be held, heard, seen, and safe every day in every way. Sometimes that looks like doing that for yourself as much as it means reaching out to get it too. Learn to ground yourself and check in with yourself regularly every day. It doesn’t take much to get into the habit, and it makes a huge difference to our nervous system.
Thank you so much, Sophie, for taking the time to do this interview. We love your mission to support moms and families during pregnancy and postpartum along with the awareness you are spreading about mental health during and after pregnancy.
Hello and welcome to this week’s Motherhood Unfiltered Blog post. This week we are super excited to share another birth story! Catherine had a long labor and her story is so inspiring. It is a reminder to be confident in the strength of ourselves and our bodies. We asked her:
What things did you do to prepare for your labor/birth of your child?
One of the first things my husband and I did after finding out we were expecting was decide on our birthing team. We knew we wanted to work with the midwives at GW and I started looking for a doula right away. We decided to work with Mother Nurture Doula Services (Amy Durham) after an initial interview with her via Zoom. Because this was our first pregnancy, my husband and I also took a few classes to prepare for labor and the birth of our son. We took a 5 week Birthing From Within course provided by Balanced Birth Support. Pamela, the instructor for the course, was gentle, caring, and a wonderful addition to our preparation for labor and birth.
What were some of your fears leading up to your delivery?
I think my biggest fear was having to be induced and/or having to have an unplanned c-section. I really, really hoped I could have a natural, unmedicated birth. With this being my first pregnancy, I really didn’t know what else there was to fear. My birthing team was incredible and made me feel as prepared and comfortable as possible as I waited patiently for labor to begin. I trusted my body would know what to do when the time came – and it did!
Here is her son, Kolbe’s, birth story:
“When a woman is in labor, she has pain because her hour has come; but when she is delivered of the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a child is born into the world.” John 16: 21
The thirteen days that followed Kolbe’s “guess date” were just as agonizing for us as they were for the many friends and family that reached out to make sure they hadn’t missed the big news. I had done the spinning baby exercises, the acupuncture, and even had my fair share of pineapple —this baby boy still wasn’t making moves. I was torn between trusting that my body knew how and when to go into labor on its own and giving up. One thing was certain, I did NOT want to be induced. I knew of the downhill spiral the introduction of Pitocin could cause and really wanted to have both a vaginal and unmedicated birth, so I was willing to do everything I could to try to avoid it — including asking everyone I knew to pray.
A midwife outside of GW I had been in touch with, out of the kindness of her heart, offered to come to our home and do a membrane sweep in addition to castor oil and homeopathic tinctures on Wednesday, January 19th. I owe her big time! I don’t think I would have had the birth I so desperately wanted if it weren’t for her coming those few hours before my scheduled induction the next morning. Following her visit, my husband, Bret, and I went to the 5:30 p.m. Mass at the Shrine of the most Blessed Sacrament — I knew I would need every ounce of grace available over the next few days.
Around 1:15 a.m. on January 20th, I woke up from a dead sleep with intense waves lasting about a minute long and anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes apart. I got out of bed and woke up Bret, who pretty quickly sprang into action packing the car with our bags, showering, and then calling our doula, Amy. Amy had mailed me a TENs unit to use throughout labor, which Bret put on my back while we were at home and I had on up until the last three hours of labor. I’d use it again, and if nothing else, it served as a mild distraction and gave me something “to do” with each wave I felt.
I was able to labor at home until about 3:30 a.m., at which point we decided to head to the hospital, knowing we would have to wait for a COVID test in triage once we got there. We arrived (along with 6 others within the same hour!) and were placed in triage to be monitored until my COVID test came back negative and a room opened up.
About three hours later, my COVID test came back negative and they had a room for us! They unfortunately didn’t have a room with a tub…and their hot water wasn’t working. I had also been hoping to use their wireless monitoring so I wasn’t stuck in bed hooked up to a machine—but due to supply chain shortages, they didn’t have the necessary parts to use the wireless monitors. On the plus side, Amy quickly made the room feel cozy (as cozy as one could) with string lights and essential oils. I was grateful for these small touches that made the ambiance a little more relaxing; including my birthing playlist I had put together in the weeks leading up to Kolbe’s due date.
The next several hours were pretty uneventful in the grand scheme of things. We met the new midwife, Katie, who was on call during the day. She was super chill and told me she’d be out in the hall if I needed anything but otherwise she’d just hang back and be in awe of what I can do on my own. The nurse that day was so sweet; constantly telling me I was doing everything “perfectly” and that she was so proud of me. Those bits of encouragement along the way were much appreciated. The team really made me believe that “my body knows when and how to birth my baby.”
Just a few details perhaps worth sharing: Bret and I had put together a birth plan and brought copies to share with the team at GW. They posted it up on the wall for their staff to see and I didn’t have to answer any questions, which was really nice. I had tested positive for Group B Strep about a month earlier and after reading evidence based birth and discussing with Amy, I decided to decline antibiotics throughout labor, a typical hospital protocol for GBS+ patients. I also declined having a hep-lock, until the last few hours of labor. If you know me, you know needles and hospitals in general aren’t my forté. Not being hooked up to IVs made it a little more comfortable for me. I was also able to disconnect from the monitors periodically to be able to labor while moving around the room. This was extremely helpful and I was so grateful to have a doula who advocated for me. Because I wasn’t induced with Pitocin, I was able to eat and drink as I wanted, another great blessing! We brought individual servings of bone broth (highly recommend), jello, pudding, dried mango, peanut butter crackers, and honey sticks— all of which I enjoyed throughout labor and it gave me the little bit of energy I needed.
At some point that afternoon I decided to go ahead and have my cervix checked — I was between 4-5 centimeters dilated. This wasn’t discouraging, but we were all a little surprised due to the amount of time I’d already been laboring and the intensity of my waves. Amy didn’t skip a beat and suggested we do some spinning babies exercises. Shortly after we finished those, my waves started feeling and sounding very different — I remember nurses and midwives coming in to check on us because they could hear the difference from the hall.
Nothing too notable happened between that time and around 9:00 p.m., when I decided to have my cervix checked again and was 8-9 centimeters dilated. We were all thrilled (myself especially)! I knew I could keep going for a little while longer, and it seemed like Kolbe would be arriving shortly…
Well, not quite. The next 7 1/2 hours were the most excruciating yet. My waves changed significantly, and I ended up pushing from midnight on. At this point the shifts had changed again and Nora was the midwife on call — thank the lord for Nora! She was especially instrumental those last four hours and exactly the “coach” I needed. I labored in the bathroom for awhile, giving Bret’s neck a break (sorry babe). I didn’t register that I was experiencing what is called “transition” at this time but I remember going through each wave picturing Christ in the stations of the Cross—falling for the first time, getting back up, falling for the second time, still mustering the strength to stand back up once again, and falling for the third time, somehow finding the courage to stand up and face the rest of the walk to Calvary. This image carried me through. I knew I could do it, one wave at a time. I knew I could find the strength, and had been given the grace, just in time to face just one more.
After three hours of pushing, Nora came in to let me know a few OBs were going to come watch me push for a bit. 3 hours is usually when they like to see the baby arrive (I mean, hey I would have too!) and they were concerned about Kolbe’s size at 42 weeks. She reassured me that she thought a vaginal delivery would be best for me and baby at this point, but wanted to get their second opinion. If you know me, you know I heard OB and was even more determined to push this baby out — as soon as possible. I hadn’t labored for 26 hours without any medical intervention just to be wheeled away for a c-section.
Two female OBs came and were kind and encouraging cheerleaders for that last hour. I had Nora, two OBs, Amy, and the nurses instructing me how to push. This was actually extremely helpful —and I was grateful I could feel each wave as they came, pushing with every ounce of energy I had left to get one step closer. They all had faith in me that I could do it — Bret told me at one point I cried out to God for help and Nora said, “you’re helping yourself!”
Finally, at 4:30 a.m. Kolbe Joseph was born. I don’t even remember that last push; I was beyond mentally and physically drained. Kolbe was brought to my chest immediately and I almost couldn’t believe it —my baby boy was finally laying on my chest. I felt almost immediate relief, before the adrenaline wore off and I could feel every ache of my body. As soon as Kolbe was out and crying, they sent away the additional OBs and pediatric team they had brought in. I birthed my placenta and Bret cut the cord after it had turned white. Our son had arrived! And it began to sink in.
We had two hours in that room before they transferred us to a postpartum recovery room down the hall. Boy was I not prepared for that! But the team at GW continued to impress us. Everyone who came into our room was so sweet and excited for us. Pro tip: bring your own string and tea lights! It made the periodic visits throughout the night way less disruptive — and the nurses loved them!
There are so many I owe thanks to for the care and support I was given throughout this journey to motherhood— from my creighton practitioner, NaPro Doctor, and doula to all of the many nurses and midwives we’ve seen over the past year. I am forever grateful to have worked with a team of women who empowered me with the knowledge and tools necessary to make informed decisions for myself and our baby boy. At my postpartum visit with Nora, who delivered Kolbe, she said “oh we didn’t “let” you labor for that long. We witness you empower yourself and do it on your own.”
During my pregnancy I read Mary’s book “Made for This.” I believe this phrase even more wholeheartedly after experiencing the life-giving pains of childbirth and the joys and self-sacrifice of motherhood. Women are made for this. Our bodies, our minds, and our hearts are made for all that motherhood encompasses. “You were made by God to do this, and he will give you the strength in each single moment to keep going” — Amen! He did just that.
Contractions woke me from my sleep at about 4:30 a.m. on 6/15. For me, they felt like menstrual cramps, that you may take Midol to relieve yourself of the discomfort, but they came in went every 11 minutes, lasting only 30-45 seconds.
We began preparing the house with a farmers market run, meal prep, sanitizing linens for birth, and getting Julian, my 7 year old bonus son, to football practice. I spent the next several hours taking time to practice breathing and doing my best to nap between contractions and reserving energy for active labor. This is where I began thinking maybe I just had a high pain tolerance because it honestly wasn’t painful like you see in the movies.
At about 9 p.m. contractions were getting closer to 6 minutes apart and my doula and midwife team began making their arrival. By 10 p.m., I learned I was 6cm dilated and baby’s head was at 0 station, meaning the largest part of baby’s head had entered the pelvis and had officially “dropped”.
Although I had come to understand dilation in labor is not an indicator of length of time until birth, I admit I felt so proud of myself for laboring without any intervention and coming so far unknowingly, with minimal discomfort.
My midwife advised that because I was handling my contractions so well there would likely be a shift for me closer to delivery. A point where giving up was on the forefront of my mind as things intensified. She mentioned that as soon as I felt like I couldn’t keep going, it wouldn’t be long before I was holding my daughter.
By 10 p.m. my contractions were getting closer to 6 minutes apart. By Midnight, they were closer to 3 minutes apart and much more intense. Getting in the tub provided a lot of pressure relief and was my first time experiencing a very involuntary pushing by my uterus. The hardest thing was controlling this feeling to push as I was not fully dilated. The risk was swelling in my cervix and preventing baby from moving into the birth canal.
Our bathroom smelled of lemon oil and sage as music played in the background. My husband held cold compresses on my forehead and gave me water sips after every contraction. He reminded me of my breathing so I could stay in control.
Time moved so fast those next 3 hours and pretty soon my breathing didn’t seem like enough to get me through contractions. Even with all my pushing, baby would forge forward 2 steps and then back 1. I was getting exhausted and needed gravity to help move labor ahead, and keep it there. I let the team know I felt it was best to move out of the water. Without hesitation, convincing, or negotiations, I stepped out the tub was dried off and moved to our bedroom.
The beautiful thing about my experience (I feel this is usually the case with midwives) was my body was able to do what it was made to do. No one broke my water sack before it was ready. No one offered a drug to induce labor or make it go faster. No one scared me about the length of time it was taking my cervix to fully dilate. Even when I chose to labor in the smallest corner of my bedroom (not consciously), no one suggested I change my location or readjust. Everyone squeezed in and made room around me. I positioned on all fours at the edge of my bed. I used a stack of pillows to prop up my upper body and tried my best to use each contraction to push.
My last stage of labor was the hardest, but shortest. I got desperate for it to be over. I went into a different zone during contractions; silent. Paris, my husband, gave me constant reminders to breathe.
In about 20 minutes time, I pushed my baby down, controlling the speed and force of each push so that I would not tear. My midwife held hot compresses and applied olive oil to my perinea to relieve the “ring of fire” and allow stretching. My doula applied counter pressure to my hips to counter each surge.
My daughter’s head emerged first and I paused to catch my breath, waiting on another contraction in its usual interval to assist me with the finish. I’m not sure why, but it never came. My midwife said that if I could, to give one last push. The last one was all the strength I could muster. It was all me.
I felt a warm rush of fluid and out slipped my baby, into her daddy’s hands. Paris Ani Elise, was born at 4:01 a.m. after 23 hours and 30 minutes of labor.
You can find Victoria on Instagram where she shared more photos of her birth. Thank you, Victoria, for sharing your birth story with us!
xoxo,
The MammaEase Family
What has been one of your greatest challenges in motherhood? What did you do to overcome it?
Jamie: Patience with both myself and my child. Being able to take a deep breath at the right time.
I learned a technique from a parenting podcast to repeat and teach your child that it is my job as their mom to keep them safe. That is my reason behind disciplining or correcting them in those tough moments where it is hard to have patience. I also know the days I make time for myself and my health (devotion, gratitude, workout, eat nutrient dense foods), I show up with more patience and understanding.
Julie: I have found it challenging to find different ways to communicate, especially as they grow. I try to remember how toddlers communicate and try different techniques to help them understand. For example, since they don't exactly have a grasp on time, and we have appointments or places we need to be, I know I can’t rush my son out the door. I have learned to use “prep talks” which is prepping him on what is coming up in our day or what is coming next in terms of time or sequence of events we have planned. We have found success with timers and have made it fun by "gamifying" clean up time or we time ourselves and see how fast we can do a task. This has helped me be more patient and prepared so we can manage meltdowns and avoid feeling rushed or anxious.
What was one of your greatest joys?
Jamie: My daughter Reese has watched and joined me during my at-home workouts since she was a baby. It brings me so much joy and pride to know she will never know a time her mommy didn't take care of herself. She cheers me on and she imitates exercises and poses from my workouts too. We have also worked on breathing, and her preschool has started to do daily breathing too. I am looking forward to sharing these moments with my other daughter, Sloan in the future. I'm confident I'm giving my girls the tools to lead a healthy and happy life.
Julie: My greatest joy is very similar to Jamie's around healthy habits. I love when Finn asks me to do stretching with him before bed. I also find a lot of joy and pride when Finn repeats back to me things I have taught and communicated to him. For example "Because it keeps me safe," or when I was sad or having a moment of frustration he said, "It's okay mommy, you don't have to be sad, you just have to take a deep breath." It brings me joy to see him use those tools and be empowered to respond in a healthy way.
Tell us about your postpartum journeys. What caught you by surprise?
Jamie: With both girls (Reese- 3.5 and Sloan- 1 month) I have been blessed to take a full 12 weeks of maternity leave. It is always a bit of a blur these first couple weeks with the physical, mental, and emotional demands placed on your body. It can be overwhelming and so dang beautiful at the same time. What caught me by surprise is managing my energy and expectations. In regards to energy, I am very intentional about moving my body whether that be a walk or some stretching (poor postpartum posture is real!). Once cleared from the doctor, I make time for a daily workout because I know the benefit it has on my mood and energy, not to mention it helps me move better functionally getting up and down from the floor with the baby. Another tool I am using this time to help manage my energy is 21 days of meditation. I am a huge advocate of strengthening our mental muscles, just as much as our physical ones.
In regards to expectations I often default to this need of being productive. Managing my expectations of what I can get done is something I'm always improving, and I am constantly trying to remind myself that rest is productive. The last thing I would say is that so many other moms are going through the same thing as you, you just don't hear them talk about it. That is my why behind showing up on social media and sharing my journey so that it either inspires another mama, or at the very least helps her feel less alone. I have shared way more this second time around both through pregnancy and now postpartum, and I can't tell you how many messages of encouragement and support I get each day, it has been such an unexpected blessing.
Julie: Going into postpartum, I had a fear of how my body would respond and continue to change. As I did my research, I was surprised to find that postpartum is not just the 4th trimester, it is really forever. My body wasn’t meant to “bounce back” or go back to what it was because it is not the same. It is ever evolving and adapting with every season and stage of life.
My son is 3 and a half now and I’m 26 weeks pregnant with our second, and the experience has really taught me to slow down and appreciate how widely capable and strong our bodies truly are. I think both Jamie and I were surprised that strengthening our physical muscles was not enough and we needed to prioritize our mental muscles. As I prepare to transition from one kid to two, I will definitely be using the same meditations and better managing my energy and expectations. It’s a work in progress and I’m grateful I’m not alone in the journey!
What led you to your career as a health and fitness coach? How do you support moms with this business?
Jamie: Through navigating 2 ACL injuries while playing basketball, I was introduced to my amazing orthopedic surgeon and physical therapist. Their passion and drive to help me rehab and recover showed me that I wanted to be on the preventative side of health and help others feel their best. I ended up graduating with a degree in Health Promotion Wellness. I've served a variety of roles in this industry, but in the last 6 years I have been a Health Fitness Specialist teaching group fitness classes, facilitating health promotion programs, and supporting our members in their health journey. I then decided I wanted to grow my impact beyond the 4 walls that I worked in.
My sister and I decided to take our fitness backgrounds and partner with Beachbody to help women win in their health and fitness journey from wherever they are located. We run a virtual membership community called the Positive on Purpose Community. We support women, many of them moms, with workout programs, nutritional resources, and most importantly mindset tools. Our goal is to help them find the courage to try something new, the confidence to be their authentic self, and the consistency to show up even when life gets hard. Making moves to create healthy habits that support our best selves.
Julie: Like Jamie, the obstacles of injury led me to the opportunity to study Exercise Science and get my Bachelor's Degree in Kinesiology. I was passionate about movement and making a difference. Over the past 10 years, I've instructed a variety of Group Fitness class formats serving members and mentored team members as the Group Fitness and Program Manager of an athletic club. When the pandemic hit, I realized I had a gift worth giving far beyond a brick and mortar place and was inspired to open my own virtual space.
Tell us about your podcast and what led you to create it.
We launched the "Positive on Purpose" podcast in September of 2020. Our mission is to teach women how to navigate the plot twists and pressures of life. We share tools and techniques based on research and real-life experiences.
We created the podcast as a way to use our voices to give other women the courage to use theirs. We want our listeners to feel encouraged and inspired to get uncomfortable by continuing to learn and grow with us. The title of our podcast was decided based on the many interactions we have with people telling us how positive Jules and I are, and we are often asked how we stay so positive. Therefore, we share the real-life experiences and resources we learned to live more positive on purpose to help them do the same!
If you could give new moms one piece of advice, what would it be?
Jamie: You are capable of hard things. Navigating those hard plot twists and pressures of life gets easier when you have tools, a positive mindset, and support system. Ask for help, resist the guilt and reframe with grace.
Julie: Bad moments don’t make bad moms. When you mess up, apologize and tell your kids “I’m still learning” because that’s part of the human experience. Sometimes you win the dinner or bedtime battle, and sometimes you learn. You have to lead yourself before you can lead others and the same goes for the home. You have to keep growing and keep taking care of yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.
You can follow Jamie on Instagram where she shares her day to day routine including workouts and inspiration. Julie can be found sharing her day to day routine here. You can check out their podcast here. I love that the episodes are short and sweet, so they can be listened to while getting ready. It's a great way to start your day with a new outlook and positive mindset! If you're interested in joining their community of women or learning more about it, I encourage you to reach out to either of them.
Hello and welcome to this weeks Motherhood Chats Unfiltered blog post. This week, we had the pleasure of interviewing Nurse Nikki. After reading her responses, I fell in love with her "why" for starting her business. I think it's so important for all women to have an amazing support system and to see women supporting other women is such a beautiful thing. After reading about her journey, I truly thought "Wow, how badass is she?! Not only did she overcome her own obstacles, she decided to be the change and help women overcome the same struggles." Let's dive in with Nikki.
Tell us about your career. What types of services do you offer? What led you down this career path?
I am a Board Certified Family Nurse Practitioner and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. I own Bloom Maternal Health which provides pregnancy counseling, postpartum care, and lactation consultations in both Louisiana and Texas. I created Bloom because I am a postpartum depression survivor. I had no resources. I searched near and far for community help that didn’t exist. I was challenged by my brother to be the change I wanted to see. Creating Bloom was my therapy. My practice is unique in that we provide house calls and telehealth to pregnant and postpartum families.
How do you help mammas overcome their childbirth fears?
I am meeting my clients where they are by providing the care they need when they need it most. I am available to answer questions and give evidence based information. I clarify Google and untangle the confusion. Pregnant and postpartum parents don’t know what they don’t know. I try to bridge the gap between hospital and community care by sharing resources and information. Information puts family at ease. It helps them evaluate options and make informed decisions during childbirth.
What are some things mammas can do to prepare for birth and the postpartum period?
I recommend that families take childbirth, postpartum, and lactation prep courses. I encourage them to make postpartum plans. It’s the most important plan they will make. It can really be the difference between simply surviving, and surviving and thriving, literally and figuratively. I encourage them to seek the services of a doula and lactation consultant prior to birth. Knowledge is empowering.
What can partners do to support mom's during the perinatal period?
Perinatal support is huge. Supported mothers thrive. Partners are uniquely positioned because they tend to have insider knowledge of personal preferences. If a partner is unaware of preferences, they should ask. These conversations are most beneficial during the prenatal period: “how can I be helpful? I think I know how to help you, but I want to know what would be most helpful especially when the baby arrives”. I usually give partners 3 main responsibilities: hydrate, nourish, and affirm the postpartum parent. This triad of help promotes mental and physical healing and recovery. Walking the dog and holding the baby during shower time is helpful as well.
If you could give one piece of advice for new mammas, what would it be?
I tell every parent I work with: your baby is healthy but you are healing. If you are good, your baby will be great. Prioritize your mental and physical health.
You can follow Nurse Nikki on Instagram where she shares tons of information and inspiration for expecting or new mammas. You can also read more about her and the services she offers on her website.
]]>Happy New year and welcome to the first blog post of 2022! I hope all of you enjoyed your holidays and were able to spend time with those you love most. This week, we interviewed Danica. Danica is a mom of three who loves sharing her motherhood journey and supporting other mammas along the way. Keep reading to hear what Danica had to say!
What has been the most challenging thing transitioning into motherhood? What did you do to overcome it?
I became a mother a lot sooner than my friends and close relatives, so being a first time mom was really lonely and I didn’t have a village of support. Nor did I know where to ask for help. We struggled financially and I didn’t know the types of resources that were available through our community or my insurance. It wasn’t until well after my son’s first birthday that I learned even if you don’t have physical support nearby, that you can find a virtual community for moral support throughout motherhood. This is where I began learning and connecting with other moms through Instagram. It helped me feel less alone and I was able to create some meaningful friendships. Some of whom I still talk to today.
What has brought you joy in motherhood?
Seeing my children develop into their own personalities. Learning with my children has humbled me.
Tell us about your birth experiences. Did they go as you expected?
With my first child, I originally planned for a natural birth with no medications. I was not prepared for the pain! I had heavy contractions, but not enough to dilate me. I felt as if the hospital was rushing to get me out of there, so they kept pushing pitocin on me to speed things along. It made my contractions a lot stronger until I finally agreed for an epidural. I was in labor with my first child for almost 30 hours!
With my second, it went a lot faster and I listened to my body to know when it was finally time to go to the hospital. And when I did, I was already 5 centimeters dilated! I knew I didn’t want to bear through the pain of the contractions so I asked for an epidural immediately. I wasn’t given pitocin this time and they allowed me to wait until my body was ready to push. Overall, I thought my experience with my second child went well.
With my third, it was a little nerve wracking because I gave birth during a pandemic, so there were a lot of uncertainties. Also, it was the very first time my water broke at home! When I arrived at the hospital all precautions were taken and I was glad that my husband was able to stay with me. My contractions were irregular and not strong enough to dilate me. I hesitated for a while, but finally I agreed to be given pitocin. However, I made sure I was in control of how much they gave me. Even though I was in labor a little longer this time than with my second baby, pushing baby out was a lot quicker!
Tell us about your breastfeeding journeys.
My breastfeeding journey with each baby has been different. I exclusively pumped for my first baby and with my second and third, I breastfeed and pump while I’m away. With all three it wasn’t an easy beginning. I had mastitis and clogged ducts often.
When I had my first baby, I was clueless about breastfeeding. I didn’t know what to expect and I especially did not know it would hurt so much! I just couldn’t figure out the right latch and every feed was so painful. I felt like my son was frustrated at every feed and in turn I was so frustrated. I saw a lactation consultant and learned about pumping. I just wanted to ensure my son would eat so after pumping every 2 hours for the whole week, as exhausted as I was, I decided to continue to pump and not nurse. Let’s be clear, pumping is STILL breastfeeding. When I stored away my pump after 14 months of exclusively pumping, I had never felt more proud of myself. Looking back at those 14 months, it came with so many challenges from anxiety to low milk supply, but I still did it! So, if you ask me what are some of my proudest mom life moments, I must say one is exclusively pumping.
When I had my second baby, I knew I wanted to try breastfeeding again. At birth, my daughter latched on like a champ, but the nipple pains and engorgement were inevitable. Thankfully, after a couple of months, my milk supply regulated and the pains went away. I breastfed my daughter until she was a little over 2 years old. Even though I loved the bond we had during breastfeeding, I missed having my body to myself. I weaned her when I found out I was pregnant with my third baby. It wasn’t easy weaning her, but just like everyone else, us moms must advocate for our needs. It’s not selfish to put our needs first and I needed my time for myself before preparing for another baby whom I wanted to breastfeed as well.
I’m nursing my baby girl who is now 7 months old and with all of the physical challenges come emotional ones too. Breastfeeding and pumping is beautiful and hard. It’s not easy, but it’s also one of my proudest achievements.
Have you heard of breast massage? Have you found it beneficial?
I have heard of breast massage and do find it very beneficial and so helpful since I get clogged ducts often!
What postpartum advice do you have for other moms?
My postpartum advice for other moms would be to take things one day at a time and no matter what phase you are in, remember that it is all temporary. All the feelings and emotions we go through during this time are completely valid. We are not who we once were, we are changed. We are a new person going through matrescence.
You can follow Danica on Instagram (@thememiorsofamommy) and read her blog where she shares about her motherhood experiences, recipes, and essential oils.]]>
The holidays can be a joyous time, but we know as a breastfeeding mamma, it can also be a stressful time. Today we are sharing some tips to help get you through.
Tip 1: Stay Hydrated
This seems obvious enough, but during this busy season it’s easy for moms to forget to drink enough to stay well hydrated. Breast milk is almost 90% water, so drinking enough is essential for keeping breastfeeding on track. Fill up your water bottle in the morning and keep it close by as a reminder to yourself!
Interesting fact: Oxytocin is released during breastfeeding and triggers thirst.
Tip 2: Rest and Reduce Stress
We know this is easier said than done, but we want you to know it’s ok to say no to the gathering or anything that simply doesn’t bring you joy this season. If you aren’t sure how to say no, use your Lactation Consultant as your reason. Simply say you’ve been advised to stay home, rest, and reduce travel.
Tip 3: Babywear
Gatherings can be overwhelming and overstimulating for moms as well as babies. Babywearing is so helpful for this! It allows you to keep your baby close and reduces stimulation from being passed around from family member to family member. Keeping them close also reduces illness which is something we could all use this time of year!
Tip 4: Be Mindful of Foods You Eat
Filling up on comfort food is one of my favorite parts of the holiday season! While breastfeeding, be mindful of foods you’re consuming if low supply is an issue for you. Certain herbs like peppermint, sage, and parsley can decrease milk supply when eaten in excess amounts.
Tip 5: Keep Your Normal Routine
With the busyness and travel sometimes involved in celebrating, it’s easy to stray from your normal schedule. One recommendation we have is to try to stick to your normal routine. Milk supply works as supply and demand so skipping pumping or nursing sessions could cause a dip in your supply.
Most importantly, take some time to be present in the moment. Are you cultivating family traditions that bring you joy? Or are you doing things just because you feel like you should? What could you do less of? What would you like to add that really brings happiness and a feeling of peace? Cheers to feeling the holiday spirit this year without being overwhelmed by it!
Welcome to this weeks Motherhood Chats Unfiltered. Today we are sharing an interview we had with Sarah Vogel, CD(DONA). Sarah is a Colorado mamma of three and her passion for helping women, along with her focus on her family led her to her dream career. Let's dive in with Sarah!
What has been one of your greatest challenges in motherhood?
My biggest challenge in motherhood has been practicing patience. I was really good at patience when I had just one running around but as soon as that second came along and I had two babies in different stages (18 months apart) my patience melted away. I struggled hard with postpartum depression and anxiety after the birth of my second and I know that fueled things. I feel a lot of guilt over how quickly and easily I can be triggered and wonder if it would be different had I not experienced such intense emotions in my second postpartum period.
What has been one of your greatest joys?
One of my greatest joys in motherhood has been watching the world through the lens of my children. They are so pure and unfiltered, offer such immense grace by nature, and love so dang hard. It’s incredible what children can teach us about human nature and what we are gifted innately without being taught! I wish their innocence could be bottled up and preserved - I’m so grateful their joy is so contagious!
Tell us about your home birth experience. Did you always know you wanted to take this route with your births? What helped you decide?
My homebirth was incredible. I had hospital births with my other two and honestly never had my heart set on a homebirth until I realized that no birth center or hospital could provide me with what I envisioned for her birth. I always wished I was the homebirth type but it took me two experiences in the hospital to decide for certain. My two greatest visions early in pregnancy were to birth in the water and then immediately crawl into my bed. I fought those visions at first and sought the care of a highly rated hospital-based midwifery team. When I went into the office for my 8 week ultrasound, I left and immediately hired a homebirth team, whom I had already consulted with! It was so sterile and impersonal and I knew I both deserved and wanted better for myself. Plus, I merely delivered my last in the entryway of the hospital, so why set myself up for a roadside delivery?! Home was calling my name and my husband was on board so we trusted our guts and it was worth every penny!
Tell us about your postpartum journey. What caught you by surprise? What was your greatest struggle and how did you work towards overcoming it?
Honestly, my postpartum experience was incredible. I had prepared very well for it in an effort to avoid the neglect I gave myself the last go around. I prepared myself and my support team for a good 2 weeks in bed. I educated myself on proper postpartum nutrition and handed out recipes that I wanted and needed rather than surviving off food that impeded my healing. I was strong in my boundaries, protecting my time and my energy and I said yes to help. I truly didn’t experience struggle because I equipped myself WELL. Speaking from experience, do not, do not, do not neglect the need to prepare for the postpartum. Know what to eat, know how to rest, learn to say no to the things that do not serve you and to say yes to help that’s offered!
How long have you been practicing as a doula? What led you to this career?
I’ve been a doula for about 5 years now. I've been drawn to motherhood since I was a little girl. I knew with certainty that I always wanted to be a mother and I consider that my career first and foremost. My children and my marriage are my work and I pride myself in keeping them in focus! As a way to create a solid foundation in our budget for me to eventually stay home with our children while still bringing in some income, I quit my corporate job and began teaching prenatal yoga before having kids! I fell in love with supporting moms and witnessing their transformation through matrescence. In my prenatal yoga training I learned what a doula was and was mind blown. I never had a desire for a career in medical care so to be able to have a career witnessing birth without taking in the medical side of things sounded like an absolute dream. And an absolute dream it has been! It’s been a total gift to be able to curate such a unique offering to the women in my community and to change that offering based on the needs I witness. I have a spectrum of skills and knowledge for supporting women through matrescence but can shift focus whenever and wherever I see fit.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
By reminding them of the innate wisdom they have as women to birth their baby. It’s hard work combing through decades of fears and visions that mainstream media and Hollywood have planted in our brains about what birth is like and teaching women to believe what’s actually true about birth. Knowledge really is power and I’ve learned that taking the time to really invest yourself in learning about physiologic birth, birth options, interventions, and the tools you have available to you, the less fear there is. Yes, it can be costly but you’re investing in one of the most transformational experiences of your entire life that can and will impact you for the rest of your life. It also makes a huge difference to build a birth team you truly believe in and trust. Every single person that has a hand in your care matters. Add and remove until it feels right!
What postpartum advice do you have for moms?
Plan, plan, plan. Educate yourself on postpartum nutrition, understand why it is absolutely vital to rest as long as you’re able and know who you can lean on for what. I promise if you eat well, rest, and accept help that’s offered you’ve already set yourself up for a much more successful postpartum experience. I also highly recommend handing out recipes to loved ones, having a list of local resources so that if and when any issues arise you already know who to call, and finding a provider that checks in on you prior to 6 weeks. By 6 weeks the majority of significant issues have come and have rooted deep. So, when building your support team for birth make sure your team is still going to be there for you postpartum!
]]>What has been one of your greatest challenges in motherhood? What did you do to overcome it?
As a mom of 3, one of my greatest challenges has been the anxiety that I have had to deal with. Anxiety over the fear of the unknown, sick kids, hoping I will sleep again, and wondering if I am doing any of this right for each individual child's needs. I have been able to deal with the stresses and anxiety I have faced by talking with other moms, carving out time for myself, and getting out of the house daily.
What was one of your greatest joys?
The greatest joys of motherhood for me have been when I see my kids smiling faces, when they tell me they love me, and when I get to snuggle up next to them while we read books or talk about our days. I know that these kids know they are loved and in the end that is what they need - a safe space, filled with love.
Tell us about your postpartum journey. What caught you by surprise?
After I had each child, postpartum looked different. My first was by far my hardest. I had challenges with breastfeeding including issues with a lip tie, mastitis, painful nipples, engorgement, and my little one not ever accepting a bottle. Fast forward to 6 months postpartum, I was suffering from feeling lonely and isolated in the new world of motherhood and I was battling postpartum depression.
With my second child my postpartum journey was a lot easier to manage even though my little one was very colicky. I found ways to spend time outside, exercising and breathing fresh air.
I am currently 5 months postpartum with my third baby and it has been great. I have done a lot of pelvic floor workouts to take care of my body and I have been staying active in the community to take care of my mental health.
Postpartum looks different, but similar for every new mom. Nobody is ever alone, even though we feel that way. Postpartum is such a special time and what I wish I could go back in time and tell myself is - don't worry so much! Babies get sick, babies cry, but they are only babies for so long, so soak it up!
Tell us about your breastfeeding journey. Something you learned, something you struggled through, something you loved?
Breastfeeding is a learning curve. I took a prenatal breastfeeding class and read a book about breastfeeding. I thought I was beyond prepared and then I had my baby. I was shocked when it was hard for me! When my baby was 10 days old I had a bad case of mastitis, I felt awful, and I cried and cried and cried begging my husband to go and buy bottles and formula. I was done! It is funny to look back now and think about how I almost gave up something that I love so much now. For me breastfeeding is a designated snuggle time and the older and more independent your child gets, the more us moms need those sweet, sweet snuggles.
Have you heard of the benefits of breast massage and did you give it a try in your breastfeeding journey?
I have used breast massage with each child! I don't know how someone could breastfeed and not do it. With my third I got mastitis when my baby was 3 months old and I was sicker than ever before. Luckily, I was able to completely take care of the mastitis with natural remedies and a heated, vibrating breast massager. It was magic! I also use breast massage for pumping and I love to use my heated massager to get even more milk.
What one piece of advice would you give to new moms?
Don't worry so much, soak up every minute of that baby! They are only this little for such a short amount of time. It is important not to sweat the small stuff and find joy in the journey. You've got this mama!
What led you to become an IBCLC?
What led me to become an IBCLC was a host of many things. My mom is definitely a breastfeeding advocate. She breastfed my sisters and me, so from a young age I knew I wanted to breastfeed my kids as well. When I went off to college I started really researching breastfeeding and got in contact with the founder of the Indiana Black Breastfeeding Coalition. She introduced me to so many different people and allowed me to shadow her at state breastfeeding coalition meetings as well as WIC breastfeeding classes. I knew I wanted to work toward becoming certified, but it seemed unattainable at the time, so I gave up for a few years. Fast forward a few years, I gave birth to my first baby. My love for breastfeeding and support grew inside me again, so here I am.
Tell us about your own breastfeeding journey?
My own breastfeeding journey was definitely a struggle in the beginning. My first son was 9 lbs 2 oz when he was born and I still vividly remember a pediatrician telling me, “Oh, he’s a big boy. Just your breast milk probably isn’t enough for him.” Those words are crushing for a mama. You think “Wow, have I been starving my baby?” or the typical thought for a first time mom is “I don’t have enough milk” to sustain this baby. The self doubt eats at you. We went back to the pediatrician to find he was now below 10% of his birth weight so she told me I had to supplement with formula for him. I still remember how heartbroken I was, but I knew I wanted what was best for my baby. When you are trying to be an exclusive breastfeeding mama, formula is a downhill battle. I didn’t have the education at the time to know that every bottle of formula I gave, I needed to pump or hand express so my own supply wouldn’t decrease. We finally got into a good routine and eventually I got him down to 1 bottle of formula per day. My 2nd baby was much, much better. I was educated. I was already a Certified Lactation Counselor and on my way to becoming an IBCLC. I had a much smoother breastfeeding journey.
What advice would you give to a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey?
The best advice I have for a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey is EDUCATION, EDUCATION, EDUCATION. Oh, and support. The more you know about breastfeeding, the better off you will be. You will be more confident which is vital. Support is my 2nd piece of advice. Find your village and lean on them when you are feeling overwhelmed.
What is one of the most common struggles you see moms go through in their breastfeeding journey?
The most common struggle I see is the mindset of “not having enough milk” when they actually do have enough. I find that they base their milk supply on bottle fed babies. They see a baby down 3 oz and they pumped out 2 oz so now they think they don’t have enough. How much milk you actually produce isn’t based on how much you pumped in a 15 min session. I encourage all moms and their partner or support person to attend an antenatal class either face to face or online. Knowledge is power! Being open and honest, and encouraging moms to talk about their concerns and previous experiences enables others to offer words of reassurance and support.
Are you familiar with breast massage? Have you found it to be a helpful tool?
I am familiar with breast massage. It is a very helpful tool. Moms often don’t realize just how powerful touch is. Breast massage can actually help produce oxytocin which helps release milk.
You can follow Sierra on Instagram at @lovemelamama and you can schedule a consult with her at her website www.lovemelamama.com.
How long have you been practicing as a midwife/IBCLC? What led you to this career?
My nursing career began in paediatrics, but I had always dreamt of being a midwife. As a young child I loved my baby dolls and if there was a real baby anywhere in sight I’d be desperate to have a cuddle. So around 24 years ago, I studied further and became a Midwife, 5 years ago a Maternal and Child Health Nurse and then around 3 years ago an IBCLC. My midwifery career has been mostly in the postnatal area, so I have had many years of supporting and guiding new mums with establishing breastfeeding.
Now having my own business, I offer in-home support to families helping them navigate the challenges that not only breastfeeding brings, but also guidance around normal patterns of newborn behaviour, and sleep and settling. I visit families with babies of all ages. As I often discuss, the scenario always changes. And with breastfeeding this is so often the case. It's pretty easy to get back on track if you reach out for support early.
I also teach baby massage, both in small groups or one on one in homes. Baby massage is a beautiful way to connect with your baby. I find that parents feel daily interactions with their baby becoming very “task” orientated, so baby massage is the perfect way to connect and enjoy time with their little one.
Covid lockdowns and reduced face to face opportunities opened a new world of online and phone support for families. This has actually been a positive in this space of Lactation Support as families are now more open to exploring support on these platforms.
What is the most common breastfeeding issue you encounter? What is your advice for overcoming the issue?
In the early days definitely tender, grazed, cracked, and damaged nipples. The answer is early support and guidance that ensures optimal positioning of both mother and baby to ensure a deep latch is achieved. Holding the baby close, chest to chest, with breasts sitting in their natural position, nipple lined up below the baby’s nose and most importantly waiting for the baby to open its mouth wide as you then forward the baby in towards the breast, supporting between the shoulder blades and NOT pushing from the baby’s head.
Antenatal breastfeeding education is also vital. Knowledge around milk supply and how the body goes from making small volumes of colostrum to larger volumes of milk as well as an understanding of hand expressing prior to birth, and normal patterns of newborn behaviour is so beneficial in those early days.
Have you heard of breast massage? Have you found it beneficial?
Breast Massage is something I talk about during every feed I observe. Either using the pads of the fingers or a handheld device such as the Lumama Breast Massager is a great way to help the milk flow towards the end of the feed as the baby becomes more relaxed and not so efficient. “Poke the breast not the baby” is what I often say! Also gentle massage whilst in the shower or bath to help relieve full breasts or blocked ducts is beneficial in preventing mastitis.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
I encourage all Mums and their partner or support person to attend an antenatal class either face to face or online. Knowledge is power! Being open and honest, and encouraging mums to talk about their concerns and previous experiences enables others to offer words of reassurance and support.
What postpartum advice do you have for moms?
Reach out for support early. There doesn’t need to be a “problem”. Reassurance and guidance in those early days and weeks, really can prevent the introduction of bottles and early weaning. You will be given lots of varying advice that can become overwhelming. Take in the information you may be given and use what works for you. Also remember the scenario always changes so when you aren’t sure, or you’re losing confidence re-access your support.
You can find Tanya on Instagram @thrive_lactation_ and on her website www.
With my first daughter, my pregnancy seemed mostly normal with little to no issues throughout. I really had my mind set on a natural, unmedicated birth. I took a hypnobirthing class and created an in depth birth plan. While I had planned on having a hospital birth, I imagined a relaxing environment as I welcomed my first baby into the world.
A little over halfway through the pregnancy I toured the birthing unit and didn’t feel the good vibes that I had expected, so I decided to look into another provider and hospital. I toured another local hospital’s birthing unit and immediately knew I wanted to change providers. I switched to a midwife to continue my care.
At 32 weeks gestation I started having contractions that seemed a bit stronger to me than the braxton hicks contractions I had been having throughout. I called the office and they told me to lie down and see if things changed. I finished my shift at work and started timing the contractions. They were about 6 minutes apart on the dot. I went to rest on the couch and felt my membranes rupture.
I quickly went to the hospital. I remember feeling excited and nervous. I don’t think it really even hit me how early it was until after arriving at the hospital and them telling me I needed to be transferred to another hospital with a NICU. I hadn’t even considered that the hospital I chose didn’t have a NICU until that moment.
I was transferred by ambulance to another hospital and was in labor for about 18 hours before delivering my baby girl. She was 3lbs 16oz and spent 5 weeks in the NICU. Needless to say, my birth plan was pretty much thrown out the window. The labor and delivery was a whirlwind of events and it wasn’t at all the experience I had imagined. From this experience I learned it is so important to educate yourself before giving birth. I realized it’s ok to have a plan and be prepared to advocate for yourself, but to be just as prepared for things not to go according to plan.
My experience with a baby in the NICU was very difficult. The hospital was 45 minutes away from my hometown. I had her a couple weeks before college finals, so between studying, pumping every 4 hours, and driving back and forth every day, I was exhausted to say the least. I had planned on breastfeeding, so I started pumping right away. I remember feeling like pumping and providing her with milk was the only thing I could do for her at the time. So for me, even though pumping was so much work, it felt very rewarding.
Overall, the nurses and staff were amazing and took such great care of her. I am so grateful for that! However, I remember feeling robbed of so many things during that time. It was my first baby and I looked forward to feeding her for the first time, being the first one to hold her, and to give her first bath. I missed out on all of that and I found it to be so difficult. I struggled with postpartum depression with all 3 of my children and I know that made things seem so much more intense during that time period. I have worked in healthcare and I know how important it is to stay on a schedule when you have many other patients to take care of. If I could go back, I would be more open with the nurses in the NICU and voice my needs rather than suffer silently.
Another thing that I found really tough was introducing breastfeeding in the NICU. It took her longer to latch and she would get tired, so after a while the nurses would have me stop and just finish the feeding via the feeding tube so that she could stay on her schedule. While I understood the reasoning, I always wanted to be more patient with her and give her a little more time.
I’m happy to say that as difficult as those days were, we made it through and today she is perfect and as strong as ever! I have had two other baby girls since then. Both were luckily born full term and didn’t need to spend any time in the NICU. After having them, my heart really went out to mamas who have babies in the NICU while having other babies who need them at home.
If I were to give one piece of advice to other moms who have to walk through the experience of having a baby in the NICU, it would be to use the support system you have built. Don’t be afraid to ask for the help you need in all aspects of your postpartum journey.
]]>Why did you pursue Midwifery?
There are so many reasons why I chose to become a midwife. I would say the main reason was the ability to have a bigger role in taking care of families. I understood that more women needed and wanted what midwifery care offers. I also knew that there was a major need for more midwives, especially midwives of color.
How long have you been practicing?
I was licensed in February 2020 and have been in practice since then.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
Plan your postpartum support!! So many families are caught up in birth plans, and they tend to forget to put together a postpartum plan. Every person who has dealt with postpartum knows how challenging it can be. So being properly prepared for your food needs, sleep needs, and breastfeeding needs will go a long way.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
There is a lot of prep work that we do beforehand. That work includes talking about fears and myths they have heard surrounding birth. I also have my families surround themselves with people who support their plan and build a team of people who are going to help them achieve their goals. Fear is normal, but it shouldn’t paralyze you.
What breastfeeding advice would you offer to new moms?
Take it one feeding at a time. Don’t beat yourself up and know that you are doing a good job. I would also highly encourage moms to seek help when needed and don’t give up without seeking proper resources. At the end of the day, do what’s best for your family.....no matter what anyone else’s opinion is.
What led you to become a lactation counselor?
Painful nipples, shallow latching, an undiagnosed lip tie, unprofessional and outdated information from lactation consultants, breast hypoplasia and more. My first breastfeeding journey was a huge learning curve and definitely sparked my passion for helping other mothers feed their babies.
It wasn’t until about 6 months into breastfeeding that I felt confident and began to actually love this new bond I had developed with my baby. This was a beautiful thing that we fought so hard for. It made me emotional to think of the mothers out there that may never get to experience it because they didn’t receive the education or support they needed.
It was during my training with Breastfeeding USA to become a certified breastfeeding counselor to gain volunteer hours while working toward my IBCLC, that I created the Mother Made Lactation Instagram page to share with the public what I was learning. My Instagram page reached 20,000 followers at a year old, in early 2021.
What advice would you give to a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey?
Find a lactation consultant in your area and make an appointment. More than that, make sure she aligns with your values and meshes with your personality. Breastfeeding is vulnerable, nerve racking, and sometimes scary. You deserve to feel supported and loved by everyone on your team. If you feel uneasy, find someone else! Don’t let one bad apple discourage you from seeking professional support.
The other thing that comes to mind that is often overlooked: a cozy space in your home for nursing and/or pumping. A stressful home environment can negatively impact milk supply and postpartum healing. Surround yourself with happy things, a spot for your water cup and snacks, and try to relax while nursing or pumping for your baby. If you have a toddler or other children, set up a space nearby with quiet activities they can work on.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
This goes hand in hand with my previous answer. I cannot stress enough how important it is to create a healing environment to come home to. Prepare and freeze nourishing meals ahead of time, focus on healing foods, prepare activities or new books to keep other children busy while you’re resting with baby, invest in a postpartum doula if you need the extra support (someone that cooks meals, does dishes, laundry, etc.), and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. I see so many mothers trying to bounce back just because they “feel fine” but on the inside, their body still has a wound the size of a dinner plate that it is trying to heal. Not to mention vaginal/pelvic floor healing.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
Knowledge is power. Educate yourself on informed consent, find a provider that supports your birthing goals, and research all things labor and birth to help instill confidence if you’re insecure. Birth can be scary, but it’s the environment and people that make it that way.
Having an informed, supportive partner or support person is just as important. You’ll need someone that knows how to advocate for you in some cases. Hiring a professional doula is highly recommended.
Are you familiar with breast massage? Have you found it to be a helpful tool?
Yes, gentle breast massage is an extremely helpful tool during breastfeeding that should be practiced prenatally. It is useful for clogged ducts, encouraging let down, engorgement, etc. This is an invaluable tool for breastfeeding mothers that can be learned from a lactation consultant or a professional massage therapist trained specifically in breast massage.
What was one of your greatest challenges in motherhood?
Learning to trust myself. My intuition was whispering in my ear all along, but it took me almost a year with my first baby to actually listen to it, and stop trying to ignore things I already knew. Once I began to act on my intuition, open my mind to other options, end relationships with friends and health providers that did not support the kind of life we wanted and instead found ones that did; my confidence as a mother, and my relationship with my husband and children began to flourish more than I thought possible.
The vision the Lord has placed on your heart for your family is important. Sometimes we have to learn how to lay down our pride and pursue grace, letting God lead the way in the process.
What was one of your greatest joys?
Watching my babies grow and thrive on my breast milk has been pure joy. Helping other mothers achieve the same has been life giving. My life has been so blessed by the women that share their feeding stories with me. I’m grateful for the challenges that led me to be in this space.
Tell us about your postpartum journey. What caught you by surprise? What was your greatest struggle and how did you work towards overcoming it?
For my first baby, my largest struggle wasn’t embracing my new identity as mother, but rather learning to trust myself with the new job I was given. I definitely jumped back “into action” sooner than I should’ve, but I didn’t feel it much physically. I also didn’t have the professional support I desperately needed to heal from my traumatic hospital birth. This caught up to me during my second pregnancy and postpartum journey.
I’m currently less than a year postpartum with our second. So very different from my first, this time I am much more informed and trust the choices I’ve made. However, despite my preparation, life circumstances led to us having to move out of our home at 36 weeks pregnant. He was born in the bedroom at my midwives holistic birth center two weeks later, and we moved across the country a few months after that. And again six weeks later. And again. And we just moved to a new town for the fifth and final time within a year.
This postpartum season has been anything but “normal” and I have a lot of healing to do, emotionally and physically as we settle into our new home. I have found a wonderful pelvic floor therapist and am working with a Christian mental health counselor.
My best advice- seek professional help, mamas. Give yourself grace and understand it’s okay to be in “survival mode.” Just don’t live there.
You can find Ashley and the Mother Made community over on Instagram, @mothermadelactation. Ashley also has a lot of free resources for pregnant and breastfeeding mothers on her website www.mothermadelactation.com.
Hi Mamma! Welcome to this weeks Motherhood Chats Unfiltered. We are so glad you're here! This week, we had the pleasure of interviewing Hayley Oakes, a Los Angeles based midwife. She offers home birth and consultative care for planned hospital births in the area. Keep reading to hear what Hayley had to say!
Why did you pursue Midwifery?
With my background in psychology, I have always been fascinated with the mind and its expression of feeling, memory, and thought, specifically that of a child. In my late teens, I watched a documentary called What Babies Want, which explores the growing research in perinatal psychology – the consciousness of babies while in the womb! It was a formative film and the reason I studied psychology, became a doula, and later a midwife. I knew I wanted to be a part of the earliest phase of a person’s life and help make that transition to this world (and thus the experience of the birthing parent) as safe, nourishing, and the most positive experience as possible.
How long have you been practicing?
I have been licensed for 5 years.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
Your body (bleeding, energy, mood, incision, laceration, etc.) will be your barometer of how much activity is safe for you. However, my general rule of thumb is the first week, lay in bed, even for meals and visitors. The second week, move to the couch. Also, it's safe to start doing small household activities. By the third week, slowly increase activity to about 20-60 min/day. Plan for and gather your support in the pregnancy so you can appropriately care for yourself and the baby in the early days and weeks postpartum.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
I strongly encourage expectant families to familiarize themselves with birth as much as possible -- the signs of labor, sights, smells, sounds, what's commonly said, the phases of labor, etc. This can come in the form of a childbirth preparation series, listening to birth story podcasts, and reading birth stories. This way it feels more like a collective wisdom you have inherited rather than feeling afraid of every new sensation.
What breastfeeding advice would you offer to new moms?
Breastfeeding is like labor - there can be challenges and unexpected twists and turns, moments when it stalls, and then also progresses. I would strongly encourage everyone to reach out to a lactation consultant within the first week of their baby's life. It's so incredibly helpful to have hands on support and/or reassurance everything is going well. This person can also weigh the baby to make sure they are getting enough and follow up with you in the following days and/or weeks. This is a lot more support than most pediatricians offer.
You can find Hayley on Instagram @heybales where she shares tips for expecting moms and birth. You can find out more information about her services on her website www.hayleyoakes.com. You can also listen to her podcast Milk Trails Podcast where she shares stories about out-of-hospital birth experiences to help reduce fear and misunderstanding around childbirth.
]]>What led you to become a lactation consultant/doula?
After I had my first child, I was shocked how unprepared I was for childbirth and the postpartum period. I foolishly assumed that because I was an RN, there wouldn't be much that came as a surprise. I was very wrong!! I dove headfirst into the birth world and have truly found my passion in helping other families thrive through their birth experiences and beyond.
How long have you been practicing?
I have been a childbirth educator and doula for four years. I obtained my IBCLC this year after a lot of training and couldn't be more thrilled to round out my knowledge base with those skills.
What advice would you give to a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey?
My biggest advice is see an IBCLC as soon as possible and whenever you feel a shift in your breastfeeding journey! Even more ideal would be to see multiple people along the way. There are many tips and tricks that you can learn. Take what helps you and your baby thrive, let go of the rest.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
Give grace. I always remind families that this is new for everyone involved. It is new even for the baby or older children in your family! Be gracious with each other through it all but never feel intimidated to ask for help from someone outside of the house.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
I have found that just speaking their fears out loud and talking through what could actually happen really helps. The ideas and fears seem to grow and really take hold of your heart when you keep them inside, talking through them and exploring options with someone you trust can make moms feel more prepared.
Are you familiar with breast massage? Have you found it to be a helpful tool?
I am very familiar with breast massage. Massaging before feedings is crucial in the first week! In doing this, studies have shown that milk matures faster. Massage can also help those with more flat or short nipples in making them more erect prior to latching.
Why did you pursue Midwifery?
When I was pregnant with my first over 10 years ago, I had no idea that home birth was even a thing. I stumbled across it through an acquaintance and saw pictures of her birth that were the opposite of everything I had ever been exposed to about birth. It was peaceful, beautiful, and calm. Not sterile, surrounded by machines, and terrifying. I have always avoided hospitals and hadn’t been looking forward to that part of things with giving birth. So, I took HypnoBirthing, switched to home birth, and had the most amazing, empowering, 4 hour labor with my son. After that, I just knew birth work was gonna be my jam. I wanted everyone to know that this option was out there and that birth could be beautiful. I wanted people to feel empowered by their births and their ability to choose. I was a doula for awhile, but struggled with how little control I had to influence the situation and was spending a lot of time trying to undo what was being said and done by providers that weren’t in tune with what their patients really wanted. I decided my biggest impact on these families would be to actually be their provider, so I went for it and have never looked back. Empowering families is the biggest driving force behind why I continue with this work.
How long have you been practicing?
4 years
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
We spend so much time preparing for birth and for baby, and we forget all about postpartum! When you hit that last trimester, start planning for the support you will need. Line up at least two weeks of meals (meal train, freezer meals, etc.) and set up a list of people who are available to come sit with you or hold your baby so you can shower and nap when you need a minute or are exhausted. Make plans for how you will get enough sleep, because it won’t just happen. Aim to get at least 6 hours in 24 hours, less than 6 consistently is where I really start to see mood issues kick in hard. Think about all of that and line it up BEFORE you’re in the trenches. It’s hard to reach out for help when you’re in the thick of it and most moms just forge ahead on their own. We were never meant to do this in isolation and that is why it is so hard! I have never once had someone tell me they had too much support postpartum, so get your ducks in a row before baby comes. You will absolutely need help and you deserve to have it.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
Education, birth videos, and creating affirmations that directly combat what they fear. I find that moms who take a class on coping during unmedicated labor have much smoother labors and higher confidence in their bodies’ ability to birth. There is so much basic knowledge lacking in our country about birth and how our bodies work in labor. Once we know how the body functions and that it is fully capable of birthing if we can just stay out of the way, we see confidence in our clients soar.
What breastfeeding advice would you offer to new moms?
Oh mamas. It can be hard! If it’s hurting or if you’re getting damaged, see a lactation consultant right away. Don’t wait and try to muscle through it. Know going in that it will be a full time, round the clock job for the first few weeks and that is why you absolutely need support around you. Know that if it’s rocky, it almost always improves with time and lactation support. Give it six weeks if you’re really wanting to breastfeed long term, because sometimes it takes that long to work through the bumps and get things running more smoothly.
You can find Alyssa on Instagram at @auroramidwife where she shares real talk about real birth and offers online birthing classes. You can also purchase her herbal products or read her blog on her website www.auroramidwife.com.
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What led you to become a lactation counselor?
I have been supporting families with infant feeding as a pediatric nurse for over 20 years now. My passion for breastfeeding grew when I became a Mother to my 2 eldest and I volunteered as a Breastfeeding Peer Supporter in my local children's centre. After having a tricky time with feeding my 3rd, I felt inspired to become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and studied hard for the next few years whilst providing breastfeeding support in my local community. It wasn't easy training to become an IBCLC, but in 2015 I qualified and set up The Mindful Breastfeeding School, providing unique breastfeeding support and education to both parents and professionals.
Tell us about your own breastfeeding journey?
With my 2 eldest, breastfeeding was fairly straightforward. Although we did experience common issues like oversupply and mastitis, for the most part, it was enjoyable and such a wonderful way to parent. It wasn't until my daughter was born that I discovered how very hard breastfeeding can be for some. Not having enough milk for my daughter was extremely hard on me emotionally, but luckily for me, I was surrounded by support. Although I was never able to provide all the milk that my daughter needed myself, our breastfeeding relationship continued for 2.5 years. What I learned from that experience was that our emotional well-being is so important as new parents, and especially important when things are going badly. Having a low supply also taught me about how important the mind and body connection is when it comes to breastfeeding.
What advice would you give to a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey?
Breastfeeding is natural but still a learned skill. Give you and your baby time to get it right. The more that you can prioritise it in the early weeks, the more flexibility it will give you later on. Ask others to look after you so that you can focus on feeding and don't wait to seek out good quality breastfeeding support if you are struggling at all. Using relaxation and mindfulness tools can make a huge difference to your experience both physiologically and emotionally. Just putting aside 10 minutes a day to focus on relaxing your mind and body can have a big impact. If you'd like to know more about how to use Mindful Breastfeeding to have a more calm and connected feeding experience, my book, The Mindful Breastfeeding Book, is available worldwide from Amazon.
What is one of the most common struggles you see moms go through in their breastfeeding journey?
One of the biggest struggles I see is that new Mothers lack trust in themselves and their body to feed their baby. The early days and weeks can be a time of high stress, uncertainty, and sometimes pain whilst Mother and babies are both learning. Getting support around how to latch a baby on deeply can help a huge amount - we often don't have personal experience as new Mothers, of what breastfeeding REALLY looks like until we try it ourselves! Having someone show you how and reassure you about what is going well can make all the difference.
Are you familiar with breast massage? Have you found it to be a helpful tool?
It's been 8 years since I was breastfeeding a little one so massagers weren't really around. However, I do have some private clients who find them useful for blockages.
You can find Anna on Instagram at @mindfulbreastfeedingcoach where she provides so many resources for moms and courses and information for Lactation Support Specialists.
Hello and welcome back to Motherhood Chats Unfiltered. Today we interviewed Kiera Walsh. Kiera is a Doula who helps moms navigate their entire birth and postpartum experience. I hope you enjoy Kiera's responses as much as I did! Let's dive in!
What led you to become a doula?
I'm a homebirth mama of one and my life was forever changed after my birth experience. During all 72 hours of my labor, I was surrounded by the most amazing and supportive birth team, including my midwives, doula, and husband. I was completely blown away by the level of care and support that I received. It was unlike any expectations I had about childbirth.
From that moment on I was inspired and determined to help other first time mamas have the incredible birth experience that they dream of. Since then, my passion for birth has led me to becoming a Certified Birth & Postpartum Doula.
So much of birth and postpartum is not talked about enough. I am determined to flip the script on expectations of birth and postpartum for moms, whether this is their first child or their fifth. It’s unfortunately the norm in our society for moms to fear birth, and then have the expectation that everything suddenly goes back to normal once the baby is born, and that is far from the truth. I’m on a mission to empower moms through their birth journey into postpartum so that they can have the best possible experience.
How long have you been practicing?
I'm a DONA trained Doula and Newborn Care Specialist, and I am in my first year of providing birth and postpartum doula services to moms! It has been an incredible experience and I’m looking forward to working with more mothers and families during their pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
Number one, give yourself so much grace. And then give yourself more. Postpartum is an unknown and uncharted territory for so many moms, even if this isn’t their first child, and it’s not talked about enough. I encourage moms to be empowered to voice their needs when they are struggling and know that it is okay to ask for help. No mother can do it all, all the time. That is sometimes an unrealistic expectation that we—as moms, place on ourselves. It’s okay to ask for help.
Number two, hire a doula if you are able to. A lot of moms have a misunderstanding that doulas are only there to help them through birth. But postpartum doulas are so beneficial in providing mom with the education, support, and empowerment she needs to heal and establish herself in motherhood.
So much of pregnancy and birth is focused on the baby, rightfully so, but the mother is also going through a tremendous amount of change. A postpartum doula is the one and only support that is there solely for supporting the mother. It is the one investment that is just for the mom, even if you have support from your family.
Having a postpartum plan is crucial to establishing new routines and healing once baby is born. After baby arrives, you're often left with a lot of questions, overwhelm, and a need for help in caring for yourself and your new bundle of joy.
As a Postpartum Doula and Newborn Care Specialist, my job is to "mother the mother" and assist with anything you may need so that you can heal and have the best possible postpartum experience possible. This includes sleep support, newborn care, feeding and lactation support, emotional support, and establishing a postpartum partner plan so that communication can be seamless during this transition.
It is important to me that you and your family have the support you may need as you recover both physically and emotionally from your birth.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
Between birth choices, birth plans, and all of your options, it can be overwhelming. I empower moms to break down barriers and help them navigate the overwhelm of birth options by providing evidence-based research. I hold space for mothers to make their own decisions about their birth. I believe in a mother’s ability to follow their intuition, and trust that they know what's best for them.
I help moms learn to give themselves grace while unlocking their potential to have the birth that they truly desire, no matter what that looks like for them--hospital, birth center, at home, medicated, unmedicated—it is THEIR birth. As a birth doula, I’m here to help mothers find their voice, step into their power, and take control of their birth.
It’s my mission to give moms the tools that prepare them for a birth that aligns with their values, without fear, guilt, or shame. All mothers deserve to feel confident in their choices and have the knowledge to choose the birth that’s right for them. Whether it's in a hospital, or in your home, I'll be there to walk with you through every step-- from pregnancy, to guiding you through labor, until you're holding your baby in your arms. As your doula, I never leave your side.
What breastfeeding advice would you offer to new moms?
As I always say—give yourself so much grace. Breastfeeding is a different journey for everyone. Each mom has their own experience. As a Doula, I believe there is not enough education and awareness surrounding the ups and downs that come with breastfeeding. When mamas are pregnant they are often bombarded with “breast is best”, and before they’re even holding their baby in their arms they’re feeling the guilt and pressure that they are “supposed” to breastfeed.
There are so many unexpected challenges that can come with breastfeeding such as supply issues, lip ties, tongue ties, difficulty latching, mastitis, nursing strikes, and engorgement. The list could go on. But what isn’t talked about enough is the mothers mental health while breastfeeding. Postpartum hormones are not always friendly—the anxiety, the depression, the guilt, anger, and shame. Even my own breastfeeding journey has had emotional peaks and valleys.
Breastfeeding is an incredible way to bond with your baby, and it has amazing benefits for both mother and baby, but it isn’t always the best choice for everyone. And that is okay! Even as a breastfeeding mom, a breastfeeding advocate, and a doula, I am not naive to think it’s an easy process and that every mom is capable of making it to a certain milestone.
It is absolutely crucial for moms who choose to breastfeed to surround themselves with support, knowledge, and a team who is there to help them. This may include a doula, a lactation consultant, their partner and/or family, as well as resources such as breastfeeding mom support groups and positive and empowering social media pages.
You can find Kiera on Instagram at @thegracedoula, or you can learn more about her services on her website, www.thegracedoula.com where you can download your free birth prep resource guide!
Hello and welcome to this week's Motherhood Unfiltered blog post! This week we are switching things up and talking about a breastfeeding term that most of you have probably heard, but maybe wondered what the heck it was or if it truly helped. Today we are talking about power pumping, when to power pump, and sharing some tips. I know a lot of Mammas struggle with breastfeeding and pumping and we want you to know we are all in this together! Let's support all the hardworking Mammas out there because we know that no matter what stage of motherhood you are in, it's never easy!
Power pumping, sometimes called cluster pumping, is used by breastfeeding moms to increase their milk supply. The name comes from the term cluster feeding, because power pumping mimics cluster feeding. Cluster feeding is when a baby wants a lot of short feeds over a few hours. This is normal behavior for babies. They generally do it in the early evening when they are preparing to go a longer stretch without eating or because a women’s milk supply is often the lowest in the early evening. A women’s milk supply works by supply and demand, so the more you empty the breasts, the more the body will produce.
Power pumping is a great way to increase your supply because it doesn’t require you to take supplements or medications. It is only recommended for those who need to increase milk supply, because an oversupply can cause issues as well. Before power pumping, consider reasons why your supply is low or dropping.
It’s always recommended to reach out to your Lactation Specialist to help you troubleshoot and ask for advice.
To Power Pump, you should replace one of your normal pumping sessions with a “Power Pump” session. Often, it’s best to do this in the morning because that is usually when a woman’s milk supply is the highest. However, choose a time that works best for your schedule because you will need about an hour of time.
An example of a power pumping schedule is:
You can experiment and do what works best for you as far as how long you pump and how long you rest, but you should do this for an hour of time. You should also pump until you have a let down, at least for the first time. Continue to pump on your normal schedule throughout the rest of the day, generally following your baby’s eating schedule. Usually, you will see an increase in supply in 2-3 days.
Some tips for power pumping:
What was one of your greatest challenges in motherhood? What was one of your greatest joys?
My greatest challenge in motherhood is the constant feeling that I'm not doing enough or feeling guilty because I can't give all 4 of my kids the same amount of one-on-one time. But, my greatest joy is hearing my babies laugh! It's the best sound in the world and lets me know I'm doing something right!
Tell us about your postpartum journey. What caught you by surprise? What was your greatest struggle and how did you work towards overcoming it?
My postpartum journeys have all been so different. I've had PPD 3 times now and was really surprised at how hard it was the first time. I've had chronic depression since I was young, but PPD hit me like a brick wall! It was so different in many ways, plus the scary thoughts are definitely the worst for me. My greatest struggle during postpartum would be after having my 3rd baby. That's when it hit me. I only have 2 hands!! Trying to keep up with my 2 boys and take care of a newborn daughter, plus try to heal and breastfeed was really rough. Thankfully my hubby was able to get paternal leave to help me navigate through those first few weeks and try to get into some kind of rhythm.
Tell us about your breastfeeding journey. Something you learned, something you struggled through, something you loved?
My breastfeeding journey has evolved over time. I've always wanted to breastfeed my babies for as long as possible but I had no idea how hard it would be. Breastfeeding is like a job that you have to stick to in order to be successful. My first time didn't last very long because I didn't educate myself enough on what to expect, or even how to breastfeed. My second attempt was better, but I had a very hungry baby that made my nipples bleed, so that was over in about 2 months. My third time around I really got the hang of it, set up a schedule for feedings and pumping, and was able to go almost 6 months. Plus, I had a freezer stash to supplement with which was so rewarding for me. Now with my 4th, I feel like a pro. It feels so natural, like second nature. We are going on 11 months now and I'm so grateful for it! I love the bond and one-on-one time I get with him. It's bliss for me now!
Have you heard of the benefits of breast massage and did you give it a try in your breastfeeding journey?
I definitely used breast massage during my pumping sessions to make sure I was getting all the milk out so I could try and produce more. Also, when I had mastitis and clogged ducts twice, breast massage really saved me. It was painful but worth it.
What one piece of advice would you give to new moms?
The one piece of advice I have for new moms would be to please don't hesitate or be afraid to ask for help! Whether it's a friend, family member, or calling a doctor or hospital to ask questions. Not only do the babies need so much from us, we need help from others too. We are already trying to navigate this new life with no sleep. Sometimes having someone over to cook you a meal, clean your kitchen, or hold the baby so you can take a nap is just what you need to get through the day!
You can follow along with Jessica and her family on Instagram- @soultribemama or subscribe to her YouTube Channel- Soul Tribe Mama where she shares tips about pregnancy and motherhood.
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What was one of your greatest challenges in motherhood?
One of my greatest challenges in motherhood has been putting aside everything that I thought I knew and envisioned motherhood to be like, expectations of myself included, and just enjoying the milestones and adventures as they come. It's not easy living in the moment when you feel like you need to be prepared for each new step, but it's imperative when wanting to truly relish in the joy each day brings.
What was one of your greatest joys?
Seeing my children's individual personalities come out and discovering what they like. I learn so much from each of them, during each stage, and it has helped cultivate a love of learning in my own heart.
Tell us about your experience as a labor and delivery nurse? What led you to become a lactation specialist?
By nature I have a very entrepreneurial heart when it comes to helping others. So it came as no surprise that after we welcomed our first child, I decided to go back to nursing school to become a labor and delivery nurse. After my incredible experience I wanted to give back and provide others what had been provided to me. Every birth is different, but the ones in which the mothers felt most empowered are the ones where their desires are advocated for, regardless of what type of birth brought forth their child. To be a witness of that is to truly see a miracle. Similarly to how I blazed into the labor and delivery scene, it was my experience with nursing our second child that inspired me to pursue certification as a Lactation Counselor.
Tell us about your experiences with your own births?
Each experience was very different from one another, but all 100% empowering. Throughout all my pregnancies my biggest desire was to have births free from any unnecessary medical interventions. Faithfully, that desire was granted for each of my 3 deliveries. My first was a hospital birth with midwives, my second was a hospital birth with an OBGYN, and my third was an unassisted homebirth with my husband delivering our baby. The homebirth was intentional, the unassisted part was not. However, my midwife had 4 of us all go into labor relatively close to one another (a 1st for her) and with my labor and delivery being a total of 2.5 hours from 1st contraction to delivery the backup midwife arrived just in time to oversee my post delivery cares. It was intense and so beautiful-then again that can be said for each of them.
Tell us about your postpartum journey. What caught you by surprise? What was your greatest struggle and how did you work towards overcoming it?
I love the euphoria delivery brings. For the 1st couple of days after birth I feel like I can conquer anything. Then the sleepless nights and nursing hurdles hit. I'm always so surprised how difficult nursing is for me. Those sleepless nights can be long when it seems to go from one nursing session to the next and each one of those comes with a little apprehension when it's accompanied by pain. I got through those early days by reminding myself that we are one more nursing session closer to getting it and I just kept trusting that my body was giving each baby everything they needed.
Tell us about your breastfeeding journey. Something you learned, something you struggled through, something you loved?
Just like delivery, breastfeeding looks different for everyone. Without fail it always takes me 8-10 weeks to get into a groove with breastfeeding despite intervention, method, tie assessments, ect. Luckily, most people get there quicker and I seem to be an exception because that's a long time to struggle. Being open about my struggles and having a community of people rooting me on gets me through every time. After the storm I am always reminded why I stick it out. I love the ease of nursing and the times of quiet and stillness it sprinkles throughout my day.
Have you heard of the benefits of breast massage and did you give it a try in your breastfeeding journey?
As a labor and delivery nurse I would speak to the benefits of massaging while nursing and even pumping to help promote milk let down. I got so accustomed to this that I usually use this technique in my own daily nursing sessions. However, I was surprised with how gentle of a massage is truly needed to see this benefit. I recently started using the Lumama Lactation Massager before or during nursing. Not only is it relaxing which helps your milk let down but it's prophylactic at keeping those clogged ducts away.
What one piece of advice would you give to new moms?
You are equipped and you are enough. Let go of the unrealistic expectations and let yourself experience each moment.
Why did you pursue Midwifery?
Midwifery was never really something I was overly keen on! I always wanted to be a nurse, mainly because I wanted to make a difference and help people as much as I could with my work. It wasn't until I witnessed a Cesarean birth, that I wanted to pursue midwifery. There was just something so beautiful about watching a mother meet her baby for the first time. It was something I knew I would never tire of!
How long have you been practicing?
I have been nursing now for four years. I've worked as a postpartum nurse for 3 years, and have been a qualified midwife for over a year now.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
Be kind to yourself and know that it's okay to not have the answers! It's okay to make mistakes. One thing I am constantly telling new parents is that it's okay to make mistakes. Your baby isn't going to remember it! One thing that will be remembered is that you did the best you could, and I think that is something everyone needs to apply to all facets of their life, not just the postpartum period!
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
Knowledge is power. There is no such thing as being "too informed" or "knowing too much" about birth. One of the ways I try to help people overcome birth related fear is through providing them with realistic, relatable, and empowering education. Helping people to understand birth and their options allows them to feel empowered by birth, rather than terrified of it.
What breastfeeding advice would you offer to new moms?
I love breastfeeding. I think it's beautiful and so beneficial for both mums and bubs...but do not place pressure on yourself to breastfeed your baby if it's not working for you. Breastfeeding can be far from "natural", and that's okay! Sometimes, it just isn't possible, and that is something that needs to be more widely accepted and embraced. There are already so many pressures associated with motherhood, we need to start celebrating that nourishing our children comes in many more forms than just one. Breastfeeding is incredible, and it should absolutely be prioritized where possible, but it should also be celebrated when people say "I tried, but it didn't work out for me".
You can find Zoe on Instagram, @midwifeinmypocket where she shares a ton of birth education information. You can also find out more information about her on her website www.midwifeinmypocket.org, or listen to her Podcast, Midwife in My Pocket Podcast, wherever you listen to your podcasts!
What made you want to become a doula and lactation counselor?
I chose to certify as a birth doula after supporting a momma of three through her diagnosis of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), a progressive nervous system disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, causing loss of muscle control. I provided continuous support for her for 2 1/2 years as she mothered her babies (infancy, 2 years, and 4 years old) and breastfed her newborn for the remainder of her time with them. I was with her and her family when she passed away. I walked away from that experience wanting to offer support to mothers in vulnerable parts of their lives, which is often pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood in general. I experienced firsthand what it meant to "be" someone's hands and feet and to empower them to walk in their values even when the road became crooked and uncertain. I chose to train as a Lactation Educator and Counselor through UCSD's comprehensive program for healthcare professionals in order to better serve the families that invite me into their lives. I breastfed all four of my children but knew that the greater education would help me to address the complications that I often see as a practitioner.
How long have you been practicing?
I have been practicing as a DONA Certified Birth Doula for over 8 years and as a Lactation Educator and Counselor for almost 5 years.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
Prepare for Postpartum! So often mothers prepare for their births, without putting as much thought into what happens after birth. If a mother has a postpartum plan in place that includes blocks of in-home support for the first two weeks after birth, she will have a better opportunity to thrive as a new mom. The support can be the spouse, a family member, or a hired professional, but support that is geared to serve the well-being of the mother through nutritional, rest, and healing support so that the mother can focus on feeding and caring for her newborn is essential. A support person who understands the value of lactation support is a huge bonus!
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
It is important for me to understand what the mother fears and address it. I help the mom to identify her values and prepare accordingly. We talk through what it looks like to self-educate and prepare for a journey that aligns with her personal values. Fear then becomes an afterthought because she feels ready for what is to come. If the direction of her journey takes a course she was not hoping for, I help her to accept the new turn, and walk bravely forward with a new plan.
What advice would you give to a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey?
Prepare and educate yourself. There are so many great books and resources available to mothers. Go into your journey knowing your goals and doing what you can to achieve them. Breastfeeding is hard work and takes commitment and support. It is also very important to surround yourself with like-minded people that will affirm your efforts and cheer you on!
What is one of the most common struggles you see moms go through in their breastfeeding journey?
Lack of confidence accompanied by lack of support would be the greatest struggle that I see mothers walk through. As a professional, I have the experience and training to help a mom out of the struggle and into her own creative rhythm. The struggles are real and they vary depending on type and place of birth, lack of support, anatomy, baby-related reasons, etc. The greatest value of in-home lactation support is that I meet the momma where she is, assess her personal situation, and offer tools, encouragement, and tangible ways to make the journey more biologically friendly for both mother and baby.
Are you familiar with breast massage and have you found it to be a helpful tool?
Yes! Absolutely!
You can find Dara and her whole team of Doulas on Instagram @joyfulrootsdoulas, or on their website www.sandiegocertifieddoulas.com.
What led you to become a lactation counselor?
I became an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) after leaving my labor and delivery position at the hospital. I had always loved helping mamas with their first latch. I also loved my own experiences breastfeeding and wanted others to love, or at least like their breastfeeding journey- even if it was a struggle at times. I wanted to be that support outside of the hospital when breastfeeding got a little more tricky.
Tell us about your own breastfeeding journey?
I have 3 kiddos. All have a little different journey, we went through it all. I am currently nursing my youngest who is 3.5 years old. I’ve nursed all of them into toddlerhood.
With my second pregnancy, I continued nursing my son and they tandem nursed for a couple years. My second daughter and my last daughter tandem nursed as well.
I never knew anyone who did any of this in my life. I said something about “nursing my baby for 6 weeks” prior to having babies. Little did I know, 9 years later I’d still be lactating!! I can’t say any of this has been easy and many days I want my daughter to wean herself. Then other days, I realize this is my last baby and we keep going. She’s pretty persistent and told my husband she’ll be done when she is 4. (haha ya right baby girl!) She’s the cutest!
What advice would you give to a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey?
Consult a lactation consultant prior to delivery if you are a new mom or inexperienced mama who had a hard time breastfeeding in the past. Set yourself up for success. And then have them on speed dial when baby comes! Build that bond early. We are here to help navigate those early days.
What is one of the most common struggles you see moms go through in their breastfeeding journey?
I see many mamas not trusting their bodies- we were made to do this. Not all can or want to breastfeed and I am all about supporting what others want to do with their body and baby. So many want to see the ounces that are going into their baby’s body. They want to pump and know exactly what they have. And it doesn’t always work that way. Know the signs of a content baby, watch diaper output, and reach out for help if you need some help or reassurance.
Are you familiar with breast massage? Have you found it to be a helpful tool?
I do recommend breast massage for many of my clients dealing with engorgement, clogged ducts, and repeated mastitis. I have someone in my back pocket who I refer out to when I need a professional massage therapist who has specific breast massage training. I also love vibration and massage. It can be a powerful tool. It’s definitely on my list of things to get before baby comes.
You can find Alisha on Instagram @mama.bird.lactation.services where she shares a ton of amazing tips and information for breastfeeding moms.
Hello and welcome to another Motherhood Chat Unfiltered! We're so excited to bring you a new perspective on the motherhood journey from Lauren, Midwife and Childbirth Educator. Her positivity surrounding the birthing experience is inspiring!
Grab a coffee and settle in for our quick chat with Lauren below!
Why did you pursue Midwifery?
For as long as I can remember I have always loved helping other people and have always had a fascination with birth, which grew from trying to breed every animal that my parents would let me get as a pet. Once I knew all about the midwifery profession where I could not only support women, but also get to be a part of the most special moments in couples lives, I was completely sold!!
How long have you been practicing?
I have been a registered midwife for 4 years full time and most of that time I have spent in the birth unit.
What is the most important postpartum care advice you would offer?
The most important advice for postpartum would be to plan for it, learn all about the changes that occur in the postnatal period, prepare frozen meals so that you don’t have to cook when you’re exhausted, accept help from family and friends, and never feel guilty for saying no to cancelling plans or visits.
How do you help moms overcome their birthing fears?
I try to help mums overcome their birthing fears by letting them know that the birthing space is their space and I am just a visitor. I let them know that I am there supporting them with whatever they need the whole time and that I will keep them informed with everything that is going on. I find familiarising themselves with the birth team and birth space prior to delivery can also help alleviate some birthing fears.
What breastfeeding advice would you offer to new moms?
Get as much help in the first few days after birth as you can. Take the different advice that you are given and find what works for you and your baby. Every baby and every breastfeeding journey is different. Do not be scared or embarrassed to ask for help, and certainly do not feel pressured to do something you do not want to do. This is your body and your baby, and at the end of the day all that matters is a happy mum and a happy baby!!
You can find Lauren at @onemamamidwife on Instagram where she shares tons of inspiring information for new moms and moms to be.
]]>Welcome to this weeks Motherhood Chat Unfiltered with Cinthia! We're so happy you're here and we hope you find encouragement in your journey through motherhood by hearing from other moms on this road. May this be your reminder that you are not alone no matter the season. Lets dive in!
What led you to become a lactation counselor?
I, unfortunately, had a less than optimal delivery and due to “staffing issues” I was not allowed to have skin-to-skin after my delivery. My son was immediately taken to the nursery for a few hours before I was allowed to see him. During this time he was provided formula due to low blood sugars since he wasn’t able to nurse. After dealing with low blood sugars and supplementing for a few days post birth I was finally able to exclusively breastfeed. Due to my lack of support, I vowed to be an advocate and educator for other moms so they wouldn’t have to go through the same experience I did. This has led me to become a CLC and I am currently studying to take my IBCLC exam as well so that I can further my knowledge of breastfeeding and help more mothers.
Tell us about your own breastfeeding journey?
Once we no longer had to supplement due to low blood sugars, our breastfeeding journey was pretty wonderful! We did have the occasional issues with a bite here or there when teething and maintaining milk supply when I returned back to work at 3 months postpartum but other than that, breastfeeding has been my absolute favorite part of becoming a mom. We have just recently weaned at 2.5 years old and I am still sad about it! The bond that I have created with my son through nursing will last us forever and has helped me become the mom that I am today.
What advice would you give to a mom beginning her breastfeeding journey?
Educate yourself with a breastfeeding class or meeting with a lactation consultant prior to birth so that you know what to expect and what is normal in those first few hours after birth and the first few weeks postpartum. Have a support system that knows your desires for breastfeeding that you can trust to advocate for you and encourage you if issues arise. Always seek support from a credible healthcare provider if you are concerned with anything related to breastfeeding.
What is one of the most common struggles you see moms go through in their breastfeeding journey?
Misperception of low milk supply and inaccurate advice on how to properly latch are the most common struggles that I see with my clients. I talk about these topics frequently on my social media platforms to help educate moms so they are aware of what true low milk supply is and how to properly latch your breastfed baby.
Are you familiar with breast massage? Have you found it to be a helpful tool?
I am highly familiar and experienced with breast massage and I recommend it to all my clients and friends. Breast massage has been shown to greatly increase the amount of milk removed when nursing as well as with pumping. In my “Breastfeeding: Returning to Work Program,” breast massage is one of the main tricks I teach mothers how to utilize to maintain milk supply when returning to work. Breast massage can also help with removing clogged ducts and reducing engorgement/swelling in the early days to allow infants to latch more efficiently. (Learn More)
Follow her on Instagram: @the.baby.dietitian
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